DDoS Chaos Ensues After Guano Gang Deletion.
September 8, 2019-Games Journalism
Is this a coincidence? Our intuition says "NO".
So many expert hackers being unleashed at the same time could only mean one thing, they're all drawn to this act with the purpose of punishing blizzard for its harsh treatment of poop diversity group "Guano Gang".
The community has been up in arms after Blizzards moderation team took action a few days ago, and despite multiple appeals sent in by the community, we haven't gotten a satisfactory response. There are also rumors that the community has started retaliating by smearing poop on their bedroom walls in protest of Blizzards actions.
Artists rendition of possible hacker attacks.
There have been reports of vigilante hacker groups pursuing justice the only ways they know how, hacking via DDoS attacks. While they have noble intentions, hacking is still illegal, and they also DDoS'd popular streamers instead of Blizzard HQ, possibly in a fit of confused, justified rage.
It's no surprise that this is happening, after all Blizzard is no stranger to controversy, just like that one time a few years ago when they said something stupid or something. And while Blizzard is coming under serious threats of cyber security breaches from thousands of script kiddies across the globe, they seem unphased by these serious teenagers, and have taken no action to reinstate the Poop Diversity Group "Guano Gang".
A picture taken of the Blizzard mainframe.
There have also been rumors that Blizzard executives poop their own pants as adults. As an inside source has told us:
"The entire third floor smells like poop, and air fresheners trying to hide the smell of poop. In this company, it's poop or be pooped. And if I have to pick a side, then you can bet your ass that I'm a pooper."