Jedi Master Cal proposes solution to younglings dying at temples in order 66 massacres

April 31, 2023-Games Journalism

As we all know, jedi killings have been a major issue lately in the core worlds. One of the rare survivors is Cal Kestis, played by the popular twitch streamer Moonmoon in his recent playthrough of Star Wars Jedi: Survivors.

Cal went full "Jed-neck" in game after equipping the mullet hairstyle. Making many comments about various topics, such as illegally imported droids fighting with lightsabers and putting Jedi out of jobs, empire controlled social media platforms deleting posts about how to make illegal lightsaber modifications, and most recently, how to prevent Jedi younglings from dying in secret empire sponsored shootings.

I've heard people give the excuse of "These killings only happen in the core worlds, you should be able to solve the problem on a more fundamental level" but the core worlds aren't like the other quadrants! Members of the Separatist Union can't understand.

Cal places most of the blame on the causes of the order 66 massacres on the fact that younglings have access to too many violent VR games using headsets that they should be using for school activities.

Cal also believes that masters in temples should be allowed to carry stronger lightsabers than what potential "Anakin's" would have access to, like the one Darth Maul uses, that way a master could stop a rogue Sith entering the temple.

The general populace is also sleeping on lightsaber proof mirrors, I've equipped all of my kids backpacks with anti-lightsaber foil so that if anyone tries to slash them, the lightsaber gets reflected off!

Cal participated in this interview on the condition that we let him say this as well:

Boycot budsabers! They produced a lightsaber for Mace Windu which is purple (a combination of blue and red) and is trying to encourage our Jedi Younglings to consider becoming Sith apologists!

Share on